Friday, December 29, 2006

Recall Notice

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and
central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code
named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in
all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed "Subsequent Internal
Non-morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily

Some other symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect,
is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to
correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most
generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of
these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure. N ext, download ATONEMENT from the Repair
Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small
the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions
Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction
voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and
problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being
permanently impounded.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will
have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted
to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention!
Please assist where possible by notifying others of this importantrecall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "knee mail".

No comments: