Here are some quotations that I found the other day and wanted to share. I actually found them on a joke website that had a listing to church message boards.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Give Satan an inch and he'll be a ruler.